


Sherlock and the Boosh

by KittieHill



Category: Sherlock (TV), The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Booshfic, Fluff, Humour, Jealous John, Johnlock Fluff, M/M, Music, Oral Sex, Ridiculous, Sherlock is a git, Sickfic, Watching DVDs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:17:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3139064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittieHill/pseuds/KittieHill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have absolutely no idea why i decided to write this... basically, i got thinking about Sherlock watching Boosh and shouting 'Im Old Gregg' at Lestrade. It then exploded into this...</p>
<p>Like bit of smut but not much. It's just fluff really</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sherlock and the Boosh

John groaned in pain as the sunlight shone into his eyes through the imperfectly closed curtains in his and Sherlock’s bedroom; he attempted to turn over and stopped as the thudding in his head built in intensity causing him to screw his eyes up,

‘John’ Sherlock whispered, his voice deeper than normal ‘I feel like I’m dying’

‘Same here’ John replied, curling himself around Sherlock’s back and sniffing dramatically ‘It’s your fault’

Sherlock bit back a complaint and sighed ‘I didn’t know we would fall ill from a little dip in the Thames John’

‘The Thames… in October, in the coldest winter on record’ John reminded him ‘I’m surprised we didn’t get hypothermia’

Sherlock whimpered slightly and grabbed for the tissues on the bedside table before sneezes racked his body.

* * *

 

The men had exited the bedroom and moved to the kitchen to make tea and toast; Sherlock laid his arms on the table and rested his congested head on his clammy skin as John handed him painkillers and a glass of juice. Sherlock took them gladly and munched down a piece of toast despite his sore throats protests,

‘I borrowed some DVD’s, shall we cuddle on the sofa or go back to bed?’ John asked softly, stroking Sherlock’s hair.

‘bed’ Sherlock whispered ‘before I die’

John rolled his eyes dramatically before picking up the selection of box sets from the table and walking back to the bedroom,

* * *

 

John looked over at Sherlock quizzically; enjoying the resonating sound of Sherlock’s genuine laugh at the tv. John looked back at the brightly coloured characters on their TV before looking back at Sherlock,

‘You like this?’ He asked

‘Its genius’ Sherlock giggled, his eyes crinkling with mirth,

‘I thought you’d hate it, it’s illogical and inaccurate’ John explained, his hand stroking over Sherlock’s bum softly,

‘It’s supposed to be! Bloody hell John it has a bubblegum monster frozen in the shape of a hoover’ he giggled again,

John chuckled at Sherlock’s laugh before shuffling down the bed and gripping Sherlock’s hips tightly as he pulled down his boxers; his tongue flicking out to lick around the spongy head of Sherlock’s now hardening cock. Sherlock gasped and pulled up the cover to look at John in amazement,

‘You don’t have to do that if you don’t feel well’ Sherlock reassured, stroking John’s face softly

‘The tablets have kicked in, I feel alright’ John smiled, taking another long swipe along Sherlock’s shaft ‘You keep watching the show’

Sherlock continued watching the TV and occasionally chuckling at a joke or character whilst John licked and sucked at his erection. Sherlock didn’t feel the urgency to cum; he quite liked the sensation of John slowly taking him to the edge time and time again as his fingers buried themselves into John’s messy blonde hair.

‘I wish London was really like this’ Sherlock sighed with a smile ‘imagine how pissed off Anderson would be if I was liaising with a board of Shamans. He’d be so annoyed’

John chuckled as he sucked Sherlock into his mouth again ‘Please don’t mention Anderson when I’m sucking your cock’

‘oh… oh yeh I didn’t think of that’ Sherlock grimaced ‘eurgh. Deleted’

Sherlock shuddered through his orgasm as Howard Moon was being pushed into a box.

* * *

 

The next morning John was lying in the bath; a warm flannel covering his sore eyes and sinuses as he bathed in the steaming water. He was feeling slightly better after 24 hours of sleep, relaxation and sleepy handjobs from his boyfriend. His thoughts were interrupted by the screech of Sherlock’s violin playing a strangely cheery song;

John listened to the song happily before he finally clicked what the song was; he couldn’t remember the song but it was from the TV show they had watched the night before which Sherlock had enjoyed so much.

He climbed from the bath and wrapped his dressing gown around himself and cracked open the bathroom door, looking through into the living room and watched Sherlock play his violin whilst looking out the window, his bum moving side to side as he sang ‘I am Electro Boy, I am Electro girl’

John chuckled softly and closed the door just as Sherlock turned around. The detective shouted ‘you cleft’ at John before bursting into a giggling fit.

* * *

 

**I’m ill. I need some things, can you send a car with them? – SH**

**The taxpayers are not your personal shopper Sherlock, what do you need? – MH**

**Decongestant tablets, Juice, snacks and Season 2 and 3 of The Mighty Boosh – SH**

**The what?... I’ll get somebody on it – MH**

Sherlock ran down the stairs and met Mycroft’s black suited minion at the door, grabbing the supplies he smiled condescendingly at the agent before slamming the door and walking back upstairs. John was standing at the hob frying bacon and eggs for lunch whilst Sherlock rifled through his bag and pulled out the DVD boxsets and snacks. John smiled lovingly over his shoulder and watched Sherlock read the back of the box before grabbing for the tablets and pushing out four, two each as he filled up a glass of water and threw his back; handing the water and pills to John he watched the doctor do the same before plating up their food and sitting at the table.

‘Any news on a case?’ John asked quietly as he shovelled food inside his mouth

‘No. Nothing. Criminals are so dreadfully dull’ Sherlock sighed, nibbling on the burnt bacon which was done to perfection ‘plus, im still not feeling 100%’

‘Few more days of rest’ John smiled ‘Just what the doctor ordered’

* * *

 

That night the pair lay freshly washed and clean in their bed; snacks lined the bedding as they opened and devoured the junk food whilst Sherlock fiddled with the remote control to switch on the DVD’s,

‘It’s so bloody obvious’ Sherlock shouted at the screen, startling John who had dozed off in the warmth of the bed and Sherlock’s body.

‘hmff?’ John mumbled looking up at his lover,

‘They’re in love! They’re so in love but they won’t admit it!’ Sherlock insisted, ‘Why won’t they just admit it?’

‘Didn’t need to be a genius to deduce that one, love’ John yawned, stroking his hand over Sherlock’s tummy ‘But remember when I wouldn’t admit that I loved you? Howard Moon is straight and obviously having a crisis about his feelings for his best friend’

Sherlock stared at John as though he had grown an extra head ‘Are you mad? It’s obvious that Howard Moon wants to have sex with Vince! Look at how he ties his shoelaces’

John turned over and attempted to block out Sherlock’s ranting.

* * *

 

Sherlock finished Season two in a single night, and then woke John for some late night love making whilst the soundtrack played in the background. John actually rather enjoyed being serenaded by Howard singing about Yeti’s ( _he realised how truly stupid that sounded to his own mind)_

Sherlock used his fingers to stretch John as he sang along with the songs;

_Listen to your heart, everything is good here, nothing before was real_

Sherlock slipped his cock inside John’s tight warmth and thrust roughly, his fingers digging into John’s hips as they worked together, neither noticing the track change as Sherlock bit down on John’s neck as he came loudly, followed immediately by John.

The two men lay silently, catching their breaths before John started giggling causing Sherlock to frown and look down at his lover ‘Don’t laugh after we’ve made love. It’s confusing’

‘We just came to a song about nannas’ John giggled causing Sherlock to join him.

* * *

 

John slept late the next morning; his body was still fighting the cold which lingered in his bones. He lay in his cocoon of warmth listening to the sounds of London, wondering where Sherlock was,

His question was answered shortly afterwards when the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs were heard, Sherlock opened the living room door and into the kitchen. John dozed for a little longer before he got up from his bed and wrapped himself in his dressing gown and slippers and walked to put the kettle on,

_I love the chosen one, loving him is so much fun._

Sherlock sat with his face in his microscope; he didn’t notice John who stood in the doorway watching the world’s only consulting detective singing onto a slide of mud,

_I love him with my body parts._

‘I hope you and the chosen one will be very happy together’ John smiled, walking over and placing a chaste kiss on the top of Sherlock’s head.

‘You’re my chosen one. I might have to get you a Vince Noir cowboy hat’ Sherlock teased,

‘Don’t you dare’ John warned clicking on the kettle.

* * *

 

Sherlock was busy experimenting as his mobile began to ring. Sherlock didn’t look up, merely opened his hand for John to hand him the phone. It wasn’t Sherlock’s normal ringtone and John looked down at the name of the caller

‘You have got to be kidding me’ John sighed,

‘Ahhh, Old Greg. How can I help?’ Sherlock answered with a grin, listening to Lestrade’s voice hitch as the detective used his first name for the first time ever.

Sherlock finished the conversation and ended the call, going back to his experiment without looking at John.

‘So… You have changed Greg’s ringtone to _love games_ and now you’re going to call him Old Greg from now on?’ John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

‘Yes’ Sherlock said simply ‘Can you pass me my tea please?’

* * *

 

The phonecall was to inform the pair that Lestrade wanted Sherlock to look at an old cold case which may been relevant to a new crime. Sherlock insisted they were well enough to attend and wrapped himself up warm before giving John a final lingering kiss and striding into the cold London air,

Lestrade met them at NSY and handed Sherlock the file, the detective read through the information and solved the puzzle within half an hour. John and Lestrade stood chatting quietly as Sherlock paced and puzzled over the new crime before solving that too, giving Lestrade the information in a rush of words,

‘Thanks Sherlock’ Greg smiled ‘Appreciate it mate’

‘Not a problem Old Gregory’ Sherlock smiled watching John glare at him from across the room.

‘Why have you suddenly taken to calling me by my first name?’ Greg asked nervously,

‘Because you’re Greg… tell me, Do you like Baileys?’ Sherlock asked with a coy smile,

‘What? Baileys? The drink?’ Greg asked confused, looking at John for help,

‘Sherlock’ John warned, his eyes fixed on Sherlock’s.

Sherlock smiled mischievously before leaning forward and whispering into the DI’s ear ‘want to go to a party where people wee on each other?’

Greg took a step back and looked at Sherlock ‘Are you high?’

John stepped in and grabbed Sherlock’s hand pulling him out of the office.

* * *

 

‘Tell me that this isn’t sexual!’ Sherlock shouted pointing at the TV,

John looked up from the medical journal and looked at the show ‘What?’

‘This! Look!’ Sherlock insisted ‘Howard has shrunk himself down and he’s now inside Vince. He’s swimming around inside Vince to rescue him from a rogue jazz cell. Howard is inside Vince!’

John rolled his eyes and went back to his journal.

* * *

 

_It happened! It finally happened – SH_

_What did? – JW_

_They kissed! – SH_

_Who did?! Sherlock can you please speak in proper sentences? – JW_

_Howard and Vince! On the roof! They snogged in the light of the moon! – SH_

_You seriously need a case – JW_

* * *

 

The case came a few days after; Mycroft arrived with a folder and left with a scowl as Sherlock kept his back turned to his brother the entire time that Mycroft visited. John attempted to take some details of the crime but Mycroft was too busy glaring at the back of Sherlock’s curls to fill him in. Eventually John left to get milk from the local shop and Mycroft was gone when he got back,

Sherlock however was jumping around the living room like a hyperactive child.

‘Interesting case?’ John asked as he entered and pressed a kiss to Sherlock’s sweaty forehead

‘John! John!’ Sherlock shouted, standing up on the sofa and looking down at his lover,

John took the folder and ran his eyes over the information; An actor had got in contact with an old friend regarding some personal property which had been stolen from his home who then gave the details to Mycroft who passed it to Sherlock. Locating property was low down on the list of Sherlock’s interest and caused John to stare at the excited man-child in front of him,

‘This is only a 3… at best’ John scowled ‘Why are you so excited?’

‘Look at the client’s name’ Sherlock sighed, rolling his eyes.

John looked up at Sherlock and then back to the paper ‘You have got to be fucking joking’

* * *

 

Sherlock was nervous; he had never been nervous before. Not when he was kidnapped by the cabbie, or when The Woman drugged him, not even when Mycroft threatened him with another stint in rehab… but he was nervous now.

John sighed and rolled his eyes as he pressed the button outside an upscale apartment in Hampstead. Sherlock was almost vibrating with tension as they heard the click clack of boots on the wooden floor before the door was opened.

‘Mr Fielding?’ John smiled ‘I’m Dr John Watson and this is…’

‘Sherlock Holmes’ Noel interrupted with a smile, holding out his hand to the detective and ignoring the doctor ‘I’ve heard a lot about you. Follow John’s blog’ Noel blushed,

‘I-You- I thank you’ Sherlock mumbled, his cheeks going red as he looked at the man in the doorway. His heart fluttered wildly as he looked at the man who made him laugh.

‘Oh please, come in’ Noel suggested ‘Fucking paparazzi are always sniffing around. Don’t want anyone knowing about this’

John and Sherlock nodded and followed Noel though the hallway and into a large living room which seemed to double as an art studio. Sherlock gasped and looked over at the colourful pictures on display, as Noel looked on in amusement ‘Would you like a drink? Tea? Coffee? Russell Brand sent me some Herbal stuff from America if you would prefer that?’

‘Tea’s fine thanks’ John answered for them as Sherlock continued to browse the paintings.

Noel made tea and brought it over on a tray, leaving it on the table and flopping to the sofa ‘Right, well I suppose I better start then’

John nodded and cleared his throat to catch Sherlock’s attention who moved away from the paintings to take a seat opposite Noel. He scanned the actor quickly as Noel took a sip of his drink to wet his throat,

_Expensive shoes but cheap jeans, hair slightly too long, hasn’t left the flat in a few days. Smoking too much and not sleeping enough, anxiety and drug issues in the past. Bi-curious but in a current heterosexual relationship._

Noel focussed on Sherlock staring at him before looking at John ‘Does he always do that?’

John smiled and nodded, taking out his notebook and pen he listened as Noel cleared his throat and began to speak.

‘I was doing some filming a few weeks ago, I locked this place up and left for the Buzzcocks studio where I stayed until about 10pm. Came home and found the place still locked up tightly, as I walked through I realised that something was wrong’ Noel sighed ‘It seemed silly but my paintings had moved, been rearranged and what not’

John nodded and made a note whilst Sherlock steepled his fingers,

‘So I went for a shower and got dressed for bed when I realised somethings were missing’ Noel blushed

‘Please Mr Fielding, We are discreet and wouldn’t divulge your secrets’ John assured the actor

‘Well, first I noticed my Perrier award was gone from its usual spot on the bookcase’ Noel sighed ‘So I started looking around and noticed a few more… items… missing’

‘What might those items be?’ Sherlock asked his voice deep and casual

‘A sex toy’ Noel blushed ‘But…’

‘Go on’ John encouraged

‘Well… It was a sex toy that was rather… personal’ Noel groaned putting his head in his hands,

‘Most sex toys are personal’ John smirked watching Sherlock glare at him,

‘It was a perfect replica of Julian’s cock’ Noel cringed,

‘Who’s Julian?’ John asked, quickly interrupted by Sherlock adding ‘Howard Moon’

* * *

 

‘So why do you have a replica of Julian’s penis?’ John asked confused,

‘In the old days… when we first started’ Noel sucked in a breath ‘We were together. Lovers, boyfriends or whatever’

‘I see’ John added ‘and the toy?’

‘He travelled a lot between gigs. I’m a very needy and _horny_ person’ Noel flirted towards Sherlock, looking up at Sherlock through his long eyelashes,

‘So he did a cast to see you through whilst he was gone?’ John finished, clearing his throat jealously and breaking the gaze between Noel and Sherlock.

‘Exactly’

‘And now it’s missing’ Sherlock added

‘It stayed under my bed. The only people who knew about it were me, Julian and my current and ex-partner’ Noel bit his lower lip nervously ‘But I know Dee wouldn’t do that to me or Ju’

‘I’ll need a list of any contacts you have who may have a vendetta against yourself or Mr Barratt’ Sherlock said professionally ‘and any strange correspondence from fans on social media’

Noel nodded and stood as Sherlock and John got ready to leave.

‘I’ll have those for you by the end of the day’ Noel insisted, before staring at Sherlock ‘You have the most beautiful cheekbones’

‘Thank you’ Sherlock blushed following an angry John from the flat, ‘But you should know Mr Fielding, your flirting doesn’t tempt me’

‘I wasn’t…’ Noel blushed

‘I’ve already found my Howard Moon’ Sherlock stared at a smiling John ‘I shall get in touch with you as soon as I have any information’

* * *

 

Sherlock worked quickly once he had the list of names; the list brought no further information but thankfully John spent a lot of time online and quickly found the clue they needed.

_Tumblr_

The website was known to John, since the detective and he had started working together they had become internet celebrities. Fandoms had suddenly erupted bringing forth the most smutty and filthy drawings that Sherlock and John had ever experienced. At first it had been flattering until the smut became more intricate, long essay like fanfictions had emerged which made Sherlock and John feel like everyone was privy to their relationship so they had stopped using the website.

However, John still had an account which was useful for the case as he pulled up a person attempting to sell Noel’s personal belongings from a throw away account. The person had taken offence to Noel’s constant ribbing of Chris Martin and Coldplay, as a loyal fan he wanted to teach the comedian a lesson and had broken into Noel’s flat using the bathroom window, it was a fluke that he found the sex toy hidden in the drawer under the bed.

Sherlock tracked them down and promptly had them arrested whilst following the leads to find the personal belongings.

* * *

 

John and Sherlock stood at the front door of Noel’s apartment; a brown discreet package tucked under John’s arm.

‘Oh’ Noel smiled when he saw the two men and the parcel ‘Please come in’

The detective and doctor entered the flat and followed Noel to the living room once more, ‘These are yours I believe’ Sherlock smiled handing the bag over to Noel.

‘Oh. Oh thank god’ Noel gasped taking the package and opening it quickly and looking inside ‘Thank you so so much’

‘Not a problem Mr Fielding’ Sherlock smiled shaking the actors hand

‘I’ll send the cheque tomorrow, but I… well… I hope it’s not too forward but’ Noel blushed ‘I painted you and John’

John’s eyes narrowed and stared at Sherlock who looked at Noel in awe ‘You did?’

Noel walked to his bedroom and grabbed the canvas bringing it back into the living room ‘You don’t have to take it’

Sherlock looked over at the brightly coloured painting and stared, the shapes were evidently him and John. John’s sandy hair was flicked with silver and his blue eyes sparkled with numerous colours like a starburst whilst Sherlock’s features were more pointed, dark curls and prominent cheekbones surrounded by a brightly coloured London.

‘Wow’ John gasped ‘That’s wonderful’

Noel blushed and handed it to Sherlock who offered his hand a final time ‘Thank you Mr Fielding’

‘Noel, Please’ The actor smiled ‘I think you know me well enough now’

* * *

 

Sherlock and John returned to Baker Street with their painting in hand. John grabbed Sherlock’s hand and held him closely for a kiss and stroked his hands through his inky curls,

‘I’m sorry I got jealous’ John blushed ‘I thought you would find him more interesting than me’

Sherlock narrowed his eyes and stared at his John, _his love and his heart_ ‘Don’t be ridiculous. You’re my chosen one remember’

‘Soppy git’ John laughed pulling Sherlock in for a passionate snog.


End file.
